i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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