I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
