giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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