but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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