I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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