i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
