I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
