You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
