That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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