how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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