I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Is it because I queefed?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
