So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize