Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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