You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
is that a dick in a sweater?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
