Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
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