ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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