Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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