his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
