just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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