so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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