Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
