Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
