I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
