marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
