the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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