Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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