i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
