My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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