I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I need to align my fucking chakras
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