she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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