The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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