I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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