dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
