You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
