What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
