I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
