I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
