im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
