After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
