Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
