Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
