The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
