This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
