You can't motorboat a personality
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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