your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize