I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
