That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
