SEEEEXXX PLEASE
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
