Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
