Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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