If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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