windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
