Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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