If i come over, it means nothing
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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