You're so nebulous sometimes
Is it because I queefed?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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