Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
