I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
