i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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