The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
