god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
We are two peas in an std pod
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
