Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
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I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
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I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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