Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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