I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
