Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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