i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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