If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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