Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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